Turning the Page

Are You Scared to Receive?

Are you scared to receive? To receive might just undo a carefully constructed sense of being in control, but little drops of love open the rustiest of doors. 
I know someone who is very generous to me. In fact, this website and my ability to get content out is only possible due to their technical wisdom and support.
He has a very generous lifestyle.
But what is it like to receive when you know you know that you can’t respond in like fashion?
We live in a very transactional world.
You do this for me and so I must do that for you
You work so many hours and so here is the financial compensation for the giving of that energy.
You do the crime; you do the time
You made your bed now you have to sleep on it
It’s justice and retribution, not mercy and grace
Black and White
In or out
We like it that way because we like straight lines. Fairness, balance, correctness, energy out, energy in.
And then someone says ‘I love you’ and you have no words to respond.
 
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I’ve Had More than Enough of Being Held in Contempt

Ive had more than enough of being held in contempt, but when I know divine approval, I can rise again.  
 
It was like they were at the bottom of the pecking order and being held there.
People had contempt for them.
The word ‘contempt’ is one we don’t often use.
To be ‘held in contempt’, in a general sense, simply means that a person is despised or strongly disapproved of.
I was recently sent this image of what I believe is to be a young girl.
What do you see in the image?
What is her story?
Why is she there?
https://turningthepage.co.nz/ive-had-more-than-enough-of-being-held-in-contempt/

When the Stress is Too Much

The stress load was too much to handle, but they knew what to do, so they took action and calmed the stress load down.
 
It was just getting too much, and I could feel it in my body.
This was the experience from last weekend when I had a very busy social time.
Meeting new people, trying out new things, and so much change that my introvert self was longing for seclusion, or to simply have some quiet time with just one person.
I withdrew a little, had a break, and now my cup has been restored.
The important thing was that I recognised this, was able to communicate my needs, and give myself self care.
What stresses you?
What fills your cup and what drains it?
Do you know when the stress load is too much or it’s getting near its ‘camel straw’ breaking point?
I know you’re not a camel. Camels never read my blog posts, but as the saying goes ‘It’s the final straw that breaks the camel’s back’
So how is your back? What sized load are you carrying and what could be a final straw?
 
https://turningthepage.co.nz/when-the-stress-is-too-much/

There is No Rejection in God

The cold wind of rejection can bite deep, but we are not alone. God knows rejection and can give us perspective and a new home of acceptance. 
I don’t think there is such a cold wind as the wind of rejection.
I don’t want you in my life.You’re not welcome here.Go away.
I’ve seen someone, who I thought was a friend, turn their whole body to look another way to avoid any form of connection.
Rejection is a saying you’re not worthy of my connection. That you don’t matter.
Where have you felt the cutting wind of rejection?
I know you will have because it’s part of the fabric of our humanity.
But how do you handle it? What have you learned?
How much rejection have you faced into?
 
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Are you Weak Enough to Recieve?

We build walls; we build personas, but are we weak enough to receive truth into our innermost being? That is where strength comes out from weakness.
I don’t want to be weak.
I don’t to be known as someone who has nothing to give. I want to move into my world and make a difference.
Much male depression I have found has a strong link to a sense of unfulfilment. A kind of soul impotency. There being no deeply meaningful imprint of a man’s life on the world around him, whether it be his spouse, his family, his career.
Much female depression is linked to an invisibility or a hiding of one’s beauty. ‘Nothing to see here, walk on by, no ‘God delight’ to be shown here.’
I don’t want to be weak, so I flex my muscles, show whose boss, prance and pretend ‘I’m a real man.’
I don’t want to be weak so I will be in control, take charge, but let no one inside.
But often we need to come to a place of absolute weakness to be vulnerable enough to receive.
How are you with weakness?
Recently I have had someone open a door in my life that I didn’t know existed. It felt vulnerable, but also strangely safe. I can’t even put a label on that door. But as it opened, I knew that something good wanted to come out.
 
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I Don’t Need This In My Life Anymore

There comes a time and a place when you say, ‘I don’t need this in my life anymore. That you have options. You are worthy of more than this.
 
It had gone on too long and what was actually abnormal had now become the norm. She had been morphed into a reality that was never meant to be. He had been entranced by some musical flute to follow a fool’s dance tune.
But then a reality lightbulb flicked on. Not a massive lightbulb that you would use to light an entire room, it was more one of those little bulbs you find in a small penlight torch.
It began to glow steady and strong in the soul. She couldn’t put it out. He didn’t want to extinguish it.
But the light grew and grew stronger and stronger until it was so strong that it could not be ignored or turned off.
That light could have various names.
Pick one or two that suit.
You’re worth more than this
You don’t need this in your life
There is something better than this
Their dance dirge doesn’t have to be yours
Self care is not selfishness
Addiction, to anything, doesn’t have to dominate
With the right help, with millimetre steps, change can blossom and grow
She walked out of the marriage.
He sort out better friends.
A distaste, even a revulsion, grew in her for the drink, the drugs, the lies, the sex.
He left his job of convenience, safe and boringingly secure.
She left the porn addiction knowing in-to-me-see (intimacy) needed risk if it was to be real.
He lost his taste for boring mincemeat T.V. and wrote poetry until dawn.
She took a pair of scissors to the credit card.
He sold his ‘pride and joy’ classic car and looked to the curves of his wife.
It wasn’t easy. It was hard, hard, hard. Scarey single tightrope hard, but actually the first little steps weren’t as bad as expected.Read this further here Sign up for my weekly email full of help for your Mental Health, Faith and Spiritual Formation. FOLLOW ME!Email me: barry@turningthepage.co.nzWebsite: https://turningthepage.co.nz/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/turningthepage1atatimeTwitter: https://twitter.com/barrypearmanInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/barry_pearman/Podcast https://turningthepage.co.nz/podcast-listen-mental-health/Support Turning the Page with a Donation https://turningthepage.co.nz/give/

There’s Something about Audio

The world is full of words, but how many do we miss because they need to be heard? There is something about audio.
I have books. Lots of them. Books have filled my life for a long time.
From an early age, I had an insatiable appetite for reading. The earliest books I remember were about Biggles, a World War One wartime pilot.
Then transitioning on to large classic doorstops such as ‘Lord of the Rings’, ‘The Count of Monte Cristo’ or ‘Les Misérables’.
Great books. Classic Books. Books that have shaped the world.
If you want to fully get swept along in the story, forget popcorn movie versions. Read them, or deep dive into the audio version for richness of language.
There is something about audio.
Good audio read by orators that have trained their voice to linger long on some words and rush over others can take the brain into the very scene with an imaginative magic.
Oh yes, and then there is music!
Can music be read? Yes, you can read music, but it was always meant to be heard and absorbed into the soul like a sound wave washing on a shore.
 
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Having an Open Hand

 It takes energy to hold a closed hand, but with gentle movement, we find an open hand. In openness, we both give and receive.
 
A few years ago, I noticed that my right hand was often clenched tight into a fist. Not a fighting fist, but more a fist that was anxious and tense.
I would wake at night to find my hand closed and bound up tight.
I think the body at times reflects in posture what is going on internally in the soul.
It was my closed hand that was speaking something to me about my inner world.
So I began to consciously choose to open my hand. To relax the muscles, allow the energy that was tight and bound up to soften and seep away.
Then I considered if I am living a life that is open-handed to others. To being generous and also being vulnerable.
Or am I being tight, keeping it all in and to myself?
 
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That’s Normal and You’re Going to be Ok

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Am I on the right path?

We often question ‘Am I on the right path’ but learning to hear the shepherd’s voice gives us an assurance to know and trust the good shepherd.
 
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