There is a self-centeredness to ourselves, a turned/curved inwardness, incurvatus in se, but there is one that shows how to break the gravity, the pull of the curve.
There is a pull on me all the time.
It’s in the lyrics of the eighties pop hit.
What about me, it isn’t fair
I’ve had enough now I want my share
Can’t you see I wanna live
But you just take more than you give. Garry Frost and Frances Swan
There is a demand for others to meet my needs. They should know that my life is the most important thing in the universe. It’s all about me.
Meet my needs; then, I might move on to listening to yours.
There is a curve, and all our thoughts run into it. When we run into others’ curves, their demands for a better life, then there is a clash.
There is a fancy theological term for this gravitational pull. It’s ‘Incurvatus in se’
Incurvatus in se
‘Incurvatus in se’ is Latin for “turned/curved inward on oneself.” It’s like a gravitational pull affecting everything I do.
I love others, but deeply I wonder ‘what’s in it for me.’ I give to others but wonder if I will receive back.
I am an empty vessel, and I demand you fill me.
Tell me pleasant things, nice things, affirm me. Fill me with water. I am hungry so feed me.
I am determined to see my pain relieved, and I will do whatever it takes to meet that need.
Some may give it a diagnosis such as Narcissism, but it’s in all of us. This inward curving towards ourselves. For some, you can easily see their curve, but with most, it’s more hidden, subtle, and manipulative.
Of course, no one can ever completely meet the need of the curve. Because, well, they are also under the gravitational pull of the curve too.
Perhaps sometimes, they offer a few drops of presence that somewhat alleviates the pain. But for the most part, we are so thirsty and determined for pain relief that it becomes automatic to reach for the chocolate bar, bottle, online shopping, or porn site. We have a curve that takes us to a cistern.
Where does your curve take you?
God is compassionate about curves.
Are you feeling somewhat down now?
I may well have woken you up to the reality of something of yourself that you may not like. But isn’t an awareness of the battle better than living in a foggy dream world?
We need someone who fully knows the power of the gravitational pull to self-centredness to somehow push against the trend.
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