Turning the Page

Not my Circus, Not my Monkeys

The first time I heard the Polish proverb “Not my circus, not my monkeys” I felt quite shocked, but digging deeper, I understood what they were saying. 
I heard it said by a husband about his wife. 
It felt callous. 
It felt cold and I still think it was. 
That he would not want to help engage with the struggles she was facing. 
To say “Not my circus, not my monkeys” is to declare that you don’t want to be dragged into the drama of the other person’s issues—that you’re not getting involved. 
I get the boldness of the statement, and the need at times to be quite cold and confrontational.
Some people seem to want to pass on the drama of their own life to others.
 
 
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I’m Building a Wall

It's ok to build a wall. It's ok to have boundaries. Just don't make it a prison cell. Don't make it a place of self-made solitary confinement🔔 Subscribe to empower your mental health through faith, hope and love.Read this post https://turningthepage.co.nz/building-a-wall-setting-boundaries-in-relationships/👁️‍🗨️ About Barry Pearman https://turningthepage.co.nz/about-barry-pearman/

She crossed a line

She crossed a line with her words, a line that was getting thinner with every wag of the tongue, but what could be done to help them both?  
 
It was the evening of the very first day of the year (2025). A beautiful summer’s day here in New Zealand.
But in this quiet, I suddenly heard screaming and yelling. Every second word was the F word.
I looked down the road and saw a very large man woman and a man on the pavement.
He was kneeling on the ground in front of her. It was almost like he was praying/ begging in front of her. She was towering above him and shouting at him.
Words and more ‘F’s’.
More words, more ‘F’s’.
It was violence. Verbal violence.
 
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Even If It Does Me Harm

We give and give, even if it does us harm, but what if learned the limits and established a line?
 
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Learning How to Stop: Centering prayer

Our minds can be so busy, but learning how to stop is so crucial to our wellbeing. Perhaps centering prayer offers some help. 
I was watching a two-year-old boy the other day. He was full on in active mode. Walking here and there, playing with this and that.
But his mother knew what was coming. He was going to come to a stop.
A little but grumpy, a little more wanting cuddles, a little more rubbing eyes.
She picked him up, took him to his bed, and a few moments later, he was asleep.
All that activity and the changes going on in his growing body resulted in the need for a nap.
Slowing down and stopping is essential for anyone at any age.
We think we might miss out, there is so much to do, but stopping is essential for deep soul work to be done.
How are you at stopping?
Does the anxious mind demand resolution?
Does the depressed place long for a friend?
How can I still my mind?
How can I come to a stop?
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He watches over you

We can feel alone, but to have someone there with us helps. He watches over me even in the dark of the night.
 
It’s the comfort of having someone there.
I know of a young man that has trouble getting to sleep. At times one of his parents has slept on a mattress next time.
It’s that assurance, that sense of presence, that knowing that they are not alone.
 
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God, give me sleep

Restless nights, anxious thoughts, and a longing for sleep, but it alludes us. ‘God, give me sleep’ you pray
 
I’ve had times in my life where getting to sleep has been difficult. At other times, I would wake during the night and not be able to get back to sleep.
Sleep is so variable, isn’t it?
 
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A Comfort at Christmas

Christmas can have dark shadows, but what if God came close? God can provide a comfort at Christmas. 
 
As I write this, I think of someone I know that has had a death in their family. It’s a loss, a grief, a tearing of relationship.
Christmas. Will it be a place of comfort for them?
There will be shadows. Memories and moments of grief.
I am praying for them that they would sense a comfort at Christmas that passes beyond understanding.
What’s Christmas like for you?
 
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Hope and Mental Health

Hope and mental health. They seem quite linked, but what helps them both to dance together well?
 
I recently had a picture pop into my head. It was a headstone, in a cemetery, and engraved into the old tired stone was the name of the deceased – Hope.
Not a person’s name, but more the concept of hope. That things might get better.
Hope had died, was buried, was gone, and had left the building.
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Better boundaries?

You need better boundaries. How many have said this to you? How about a better knowing of yourself first? #boundaries
Better boundaries come from the inside out
Three types of boundaries
1. Imposed boundaries.
2. Adopted boundaries.
3. Internalised Owned boundaries.
 
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